


go not gently

by Odaigahara



Series: Whumptober 2019 [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Coma, Gen, Post-Apocalypse, Protectiveness, Sort Of, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 04:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20960537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odaigahara/pseuds/Odaigahara
Summary: (Whumptober # 4, "Human Shield")*Roman and Remus sleep curled together now, shoulder to shoulder like they can merge back into one person if they stay close enough. Virgil and Deceit- Patton knows his name now, but also knows Deceit doesn't always prefer to use it- plot and try desperate schemes to wake Thomas up, venturing deeper and deeper into what's left of the mind until one of the others calls them back. Logan organizes everything they can find of Thomas- his memories, his personality, his hopes and dreams- and sequesters them all where the nothingness can't reach, gladly taking whatever Virgil and Deceit scavenge for him.Patton just holds everyone together.





	go not gently

**Author's Note:**

> Whumptober: #4, Human Shield.
> 
> Written at 1 AM, so if there's typos pls let me know.

The thing is, Patton doesn't want _anyone_ to die. It used to be a lot easier to get his wish, back when Thomas was conscious and they could all be a family together, cooking and watching movies and cuddling, but-

A lot has changed since then. Now the Mindscape is a flickery half-formed wasteland, sustained by vestiges of the Light and Dark Sides combined. They're all crushed into one place, surrounded by the encroaching dark of the Subconscious, and, well, Patton really does feel bad for its inhabitants! All the figments there are scared, too, fleeing the more permanent darkness of brain death. But their fear drives them into the Mindscape, where his family is sheltering, and when they get in they try their best to tear everyone to pieces. 

It hurts to watch them now. The TV doesn't work, and their rooms have all merged together, their effects varying depending on the whims of the sporadic synapses in Thomas' brain. Sometimes they're all awash in eyeshadow and drowning in fear, manic and nervous, snapping at each other like angry turtles; other times they're sobbing over memories, gathering Thomas' life close like they can use the past to shore up the future. Roman and Remus sleep curled together now, shoulder to shoulder like they can merge back into one person if they stay close enough. Virgil and Deceit- Patton knows his name now, but also knows Deceit doesn't always prefer to use it- plot and try desperate schemes to wake Thomas up, venturing deeper and deeper into what's left of the mind until one of the others calls them back. Logan organizes everything they can find of Thomas- his memories, his personality, his hopes and dreams- and sequesters them all where the nothingnesscan't reach, gladly taking whatever Virgil and Deceit scavenge for him.

Patton just holds everyone together.

He used to try to smile all the time, acting like nothing was wrong, but that stopped being something he could do after a while. Thomas is _hurt, _so bad he might not ever wake up. He's falling apart, and every day Patton wonders if this is the day the Sanders family pulls the plug- the day _his _family dissolves like it never existed. He can't really cook much anymore with the power off, but he brings the other Sides food whenever he can.

He prods Roman into singing, gets Deceit and the twins together to create the most outlandish plays they can think of, makes up elaborate card games with Logan that can go on for hours. He sits with Virgil when he panics and holds Remus' hands when he tries to follow his worst impulses. He tells them Thomas is going to wake up any day now. He tells them the lights are gonna come back on, and their rooms will work again, and Thomas will get to see his friends and family and they'll get to see Thomas. They've preserved so much of him, he says, surely that's enough for him to work with when he comes back! It has to be enough. It's _going_ to be.

It makes him want to weep. He knows they think his optimism is pointless- just a cry in the dark, no beginning and no end, no hope but the faint idea that maybe there's a light at the end of the tunnel. He hears them talk sometimes about who's going to fade first and why: Virgil thinks the figments will get them, that they'll tear them apart one day until there's nothing but Subconscious and _that's _when brain death will happen. Deceit thinks the more intellectual Sides will fade before that, with himself and Logan the first to go and Virgil the last. Roman avoids the subject every time it comes up, sometimes abruptly changing the subject or leaving the room outright. Patton has to go after him then, and every time he comes across him with his sword in hand, one of the few things he can still conjure. The long stretches of the Imagination are closed to him, now; Roman and Remus aren't even sure it exists anymore. The Subconscious devours everything it touches, and it always bordered Creativity's domain. Roman's castles are barely memories, but he still needs to be the prince. He wants to protect everyone so much that it hurts.

Patton can empathize with that.

Something has been banging on the doors for hours now. The edge of the Mindscape is shrinking in again, the Subconscious breaking its levies and overflowing to drown everything it can reach. Logan and Deceit already retreated with all the hoarded information; Patton made Virgil and Roman go with them, forced even Remus to follow behind the new barricade. He said he would join them soon- that he needed to say goodbye first. Deceit didn't contradict him, which is how Patton knows they're on the same page.

If the figments get past this point, it won't be long before they overrun the rest of the Mindscape. There just isn't enough substance left to build defenses that will hold; all the figments have to do is get past this room, and they win.

The Subconscious will swallow everyone he's ever loved: Logan, so stiff and so dear, and Deceit, scheming and trying all he can to make Thomas succeed; Roman and Remus, so bright and imaginative, two sides of the same coin; Virgil, his dark strange son, his anxious child who ached so much for affection and didn't get nearly enough time to enjoy it. _Thomas, _too, though Patton doesn't know if he'll ever come back.

It's been so _long,_ after all. He doesn't think anyone can blame him for restricting hope for things he might actually get to have.

Patton wants a few more days for his family to be together, to huddle close and hold hands and find points of contact to warm them through the cold. A few more days for Roman and Remus to stay so close, for Virgil to make dry little quips about illogical behavior to Logan, for Deceit to act like a movie villain so the others can make fun of him. A few more days of light against the darkness.

_Please, just a few more days._

The door cracks down the middle, pale hands groping around the edges. All the parts of Thomas that _aren't_ Thomas, the bits and pieces of instinct in the unconscious mind, are finally breaking through. They're going to pull the Mindscape to pieces and drag every part of the brain into their primordial darkness, so frenzied by the prospect of not existing that they're willing to trample anything to get away from it. They're going to kill everyone and not even care.

Patton closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He can feel himself crying, and he's _scared_, he's lost and grieving and _terribly _frightened_, _but rising above all that is a grim, shining determination. He is the imperative to be good and kind, to urge to protect and soothe personified. He is comfort for the crying and a candle in a blackout, bedtime kisses and hugs during thunderstorms. Thomas didn't think of him as a dad just because of his jokes; Patton is a dad because when things are scary, he comes into the room and says _it's okay_. Says _it's all right to cry_, but he has stories and a nightlight and he'll stay by the bed all night, so no child of his has to fear the monsters in the dark.

_Yes. That's right._

A sword settles into his hand, as sharp and balanced as Roman's. Patton squares his feet and raises it up, smiles at the first feral face that pushes its way through the splinters.

"It's okay, kiddo," he tells it, as the mass of figments behind it shove it closer. The frame won't hold much longer. "I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry. I wish none of this was happening." He steps forward, uses his power to block off the rest of his world and tenses his shoulders. "I know it's bad," he says still, terminally gentle, as the door shatters completely, "but you're getting past this room over my dead body- and you can take it as a matter of _corpse_ that I'm not going down easy!"

A shaky breath, a shakier laugh. The hoard rushes him like a tidal wave. 

**Author's Note:**

> If it helps: if I ever write a sequel to this, this will totally be the point where Thomas wakes up.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
